Wanna Be An Idol (Sucking Up To Simon)

This is my entry for Bruce Bethke's Friday Challenge for 4/10/09.

"Wanna Be an Idol (Sucking up to Simon)"
by snowdog

The try-outs came into my town one rainy afternoon
No music, only singing in a private little room
All alone, nowhere to hide, I nearly hit the floor
Before the Idol judges, they had gone from three to four

Now I'm sucking up to Simon
And his silly hair
Paula, are you stoned again?
What's with that glassy stare?
Randy, no I'm not a "dawg"
Please don't call me such
But I wanna be an Idol
An American Idol
Wanna be an Idol so much

I got my golden ticket, now it's on to Hollywood
Sang with a bunch of losers, I don't think they understood
I'm in this thing to win it, I don't want to go back home
I'll watch them go down one by one until I'm all alone

So I'm sucking up to Simon
And his snotty attitude
Someone prop up Paula quick
She's been into the 'ludes.
Randy played with Journey, dawg!
His outfit was a rush
But I wanna be an Idol
An American Idol
Wanna be an Idol so much

I made the final twelve or so, my friends and family cheered
Consensus in the web logs called me talented, but weird
'Though millions heard my singing, I'm still standing here alive
You want to see me next week? Then please dial in number five.

For now, I'm sucking up to Simon
That annoying limey git
Paula's up and dancing
In a dress that doesn't fit
Randy says to "check it out",
I think I've had enough
But I wanna be an Idol
An American Idol
Wanna be an Idol so much

(Instrumental)

Spoken:
Oh yeah, I forget. There's a new judge. What was her name, again?


Now I'm sucking up to Simon
That accent and that smirk
Paula's feeling flirty
Keeps touching on that jerk
Randy, no, hey, you're the dawg
Keep that hip-hop stuff
But I wanna be an Idol
An American Idol
Wanna be an Idol so very much

Yeah I wanna be an Idol
An American Idol
Wanna be an Idol so much